I think one of the hardest things in the world is pursuing a dream.
Not because of the sacrifices you have to make along the way.
Not because of the enormous amount of effort, heart, and piece of your soul that you give.
Not because of the consecutive nights of too little sleep and too much stress.
Not because of the time and energy and hope you put out without getting any back.
Not because of the knotted up stomach from anxiety, or the doubt that sits in the back of your mind, suffocating you and eating away at hope.
Not because of the loneliness that comes from traveling a road you were called to despite what you feel.
Not because of the hours of plans, the thousands of dollars, the tedious intermediate steps that are required.
Not because of the relationships you didn't have enough time for, or the missed social events, or the simple pleasures you have to give up because your time is spent working towards your goal.
Not because of the frustration and heartbreak and feelings of inadequacy.
No, what's hard about pursuing a dream is the fact that at the end of it all, at the moment you've got it in your grasp, God can and might say, "Well done child, now give it up."
And, like Paul, you have to hand it over, "counting all things loss compared to the excellence of knowing Christ."
Pursuing the dream isn't hard, it's the heart God requires you to have while pursuing it. It's having a heart position that believes that only by God will everything come together and having a work ethic that believes it is only by your hard work that everything will come together.
It's giving up everything to follow Him and pursue the dream; all the while speaking from your heart "Just say the word God and I'll give up all I have." It's being intentional and diligent about your pursuits here on earth, and at the same time holding them in an open hand and being at peace if they're taken away.
Yeah, the hard part is honestly singing the words of the Jeremy Camp song "You can have all this world just give me Jesus" while you actually have something in this world He might ask you to give up.
I admit. Right now, I have my fist clenched shut and I'm looking the other direction. Because to be quite honest, I'm tired of working hard. I'm tired of being on this path God has me on and not knowing where I'll end up. I'm sick of being lonely and discouraged, and I'm mad as hell that God might ask me to give up the dream that I am giving up EVERYTHING for.
And honestly? I think I'm most mad because I realized that I can't honestly sing the words in the song. I can't honestly say "You can have all this world, just give me Jesus." My heart won't let go. And that hurts me more than I care to say.
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