Sometimes, things are so painful that you can only breathe out

Morals are internal cornerstones the individual lives by. Ethics are society defined standards. I'm not sure which one scares me more.

For $1600 Dr. Gosnell could help you avoid ramifications of your actions. Or perhaps actions done to you. Either way. The consequences were removed with a corroded suction tube, or a supercoil, created specially such that once injected causes the body to reject the contents of the uterus, or perhaps those consequences were just delivered normally to be sliced in two by a lethal pair of scissors.

According to the Grand Jury Report:
"A medical expert with 43 years of experience in performing abortions was appalled. This expert told us, 'I’ve never heard of it [cutting the spinal cord] being done during an abortion'.

There are laws mandating that cadavers be treated with more dignity. And those 'cadavers' delivered post term and no larger than your palm? By Gosnell's own mouth they were whimpering and moving before they were destroyed.

And I have to wonder, as those scissors sliced through skin and bone and nerve and muscle and broke through so much more than a little human body, was the heart of God being sliced through as well? Was He gasping in agony as the sanctified human life that was hand crafted, uniquely breathed into, was taken by the uncaring, calloused hands of another child of His? 100 times. 100 times. And that's just the estimated.

As the broken little boy or girl was shoved into a box until the post death twitching stopped and the limbs could be cut off and haphazardly stored in grotesque glass jars or freezer bags, was Jesus remembering His agony on the cross? The agony of paying for the kind of debased sin that would desiccate human life?


John tells us Jesus said that the thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. And it is times like this that remind me and relieve me--this world is not my home. May it never be my home, and may I never desire that to be so.


When someone runs around with scissors and slits people's throats or spinal cord, society calls them a pathological killer. When someone inserts a knife into the base of someone's skull and spills out their brains, society says they have severe mental problems and should be locked away. When anyone does this to dead bodies, we throw them in jail and say they have some sadistic tendency and make them go through therapy.
When a man in a white coat does it to an underdeveloped baby, society says it's a right. It's a choice. It's not an issue. And since 'life' has not a moral but an ethical definition, society lets this 'non-issue' slide.


I am so, so deeply bothered. I do not expect morality from a dead world. But I am still horrified by what human beings will do to one another. I am still in shock that this is permitted, and that life and its value is minced and diced  and defined in terms of time and situation and 'viability'. Whatever that means. This is what Jesus came to redeem and to save. And this is what I cannot reconcile.


And mostly, I am so burdened by the taking of so many lives, and the uncaring destruction of what was created so beautifully sacred, that I'm struggling to deal with it.
I hope I don't deal with it, and I hope I don't get over it, and I hope I never move past it.

Because the day I do will be the day I surpass the heart of the Lord, Who has never gotten over the hurting of His children, and Who knows every one by name. Whether we say they have value or not.