Value is determined by the Purchaser

"It seems our hearts were made to give themselves away"

I wish I could say this insight came from me. It didn't. It came from Tim Pedersen, who I respect very much and probably need to visit the next time I am in sa-town.


Anyways, I haven't fully extrapolated this thought out, mainly because it is a hard one for me to process and the implications are weighty. That and the fact that classes are absolutely eating me alive. 5 hours of sleep a night is never enough for anyone to take Biomechanics and dynamics on.
But I was thinking about this statement this morning, as well as a few others:

Keep your heart with all diligence for out of it spring the issues of life

Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also

The heart is deceitful above all things, who can know it? 

It seems our hearts were made to give themselves away. 

Yes, yes it does. It seems like they're fickle, and flighty, and confusing. It seems like we bandy them about as if they mean little to us, and are careless with them. It seems they're our currency to buying salve to a much deeper pain. Because loneliness is all too common, and hurting alone is incredibly more painful than hurting with a friend. And love takes more than yourself. And maybe, at the root of it all, this terrible heart condition of selfishness that no one can quite escape, is slowly eating us out from the inside and breaking us over and over again. Maybe all we really want is to give ourselves away to be known. And to be found. Maybe, one day, I'll realize my heart has a source, and the Giver of every good and perfect thing is waiting for me to stop trying to pull my heart back out of His hands and throw it out to the first bidder that promises they see me and know me and love me. And by see me I mean want to use me, and by know me I mean get something out of me, and by love me I mean love themselves. Maybe I'll be content to stay with the One Who loved me first and stop trying to DO and start learning to BE. 

I'm waiting for the day my heart realizes that it is already seen, already known, and already loved. And it stops trying to give itself away and realizes it was bought for a price no one else could ever pay.