view from the side

Once I get over the fact that sometimes, I suck and screw things up and let people down, I find that I actually learn a lot more from my failures than from doing things right.


So I'm thankful God doesn't always make things happen for me, you know? Like, it gets confusing when you pray He moves a mountain and He doesn't. It gets pretty frustrating, and I start to ask if He's really out there, if He really is concerned with me at all, if He gives a care. But if He moved the mountain, I wouldn't have to walk over it. And I'd miss learning to climb, and where to find footholds when things start to slide around me, and how to hold on more tightly when it feels like I'm about to fall back down where I came from, and how to enjoy the occasional view from the side: seeing where you are going and where you came from juxtaposed in a glorious representation of a life in the process of Redemption; the outward manifestation of an inward promise.

Yeah. I'm glad that sometimes, God is silent. Because when I've exhausted my own voice and let my heart spill from my mouth, I'm left with a jumbled mess of incoherency that suddenly becomes crystal clear. And  while forgiveness envelops the misspoken words and the selfish actions and the mistaken steps, I begin to see how to not do things. And, more importantly, how to follow Jesus a little bit better the next time


Abundant grace is beautiful, especially when you are the recipient